Infertility, Loss, and Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is always portrayed as this joyous day full of sunshine, flowers, and the color pink. You go to church, take a family picture, eat dinner together, and hug your mama a few extra times. However, truthfully, it can be really hard for some of the women in your life. Ladies whose hearts are aching so deeply to be a mother. Ladies who would give anything to have a baby in their arms; they are walking through infertility or waiting on an adoption placement. Ladies who are mourning their motherhood; they have had a miscarriage, a stillbirth, or lost a child. Ladies who know they will never be a mother; they have either chosen that path or been dealt that truth.

I remember before my daughter was born, a couple of Mother’s Days came and went while we were trying so desperately to get pregnant. It was hard. And, through our secondary infertility battle, we lost the only baby we have been able to conceive in two years. Even now that I have a beautiful child to call me “Mama” on Mother’s Day, it still serves as a reminder of the one that I never got to hold in my arms. I should be a mom to two little loves right now. And, that’s a heartbreaking feeling. If you are walking through infertility or loss, Mother’s Day is often a brutal reminder of what you don’t have in front of you. And I am so so sorry for your pain, friend.

So what do we do when we don’t know what to do? When you are walking through this journey, how do you hold onto hope? Or, if you know someone near to you fighting this battle, what can you do or say to help? PRAY. Prayer is how I fight my battles. Prayer is powerful. It is an intimate, honest conversation between you and the God of the Universe! The One who is able to do ANYTHING! I have been in many seasons where I so desperately needed to not only be in prayer myself, but to know that I had prayer warriors calling out to our Heavenly Father on my behalf. And, because I know what it’s like to need that support, I know how important it is to reciprocate it, as well.

When I say I am praying for you, I mean it. Often people say flippantly , “Praying for you,” but then they just as quickly forget to actually do it. I have been very guilty of this in the past, and because of that conviction, I began the purposeful practice of writing down names on my bathroom mirror. If I am not intentional in reminding myself of these people, I will forget. And I never want to forget the most important thing that I could do for those who are hurting.

“We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers.” -1 Thessalonians 1:2

So we pray, because that’s the only thing that we truly have the power to do in these humanly powerless situations. Through faith, we can approach God with freedom and confidence (Ephesians 3:12). Letting someone know that you are specifically praying for them is a simple reminder that they are seen, loved, and being lifted up to the all-powerful King of Kings. There is nothing that could mean more.
Here are some specific Psalms that you can use to pray over these hurting hearts as Mother’s Day approaches...

-Pray that the Lord will hear their cries as they seek Him. (Psalm 27:7-8)
-Pray for closeness with the Lord in their sorrow and pain. (Psalm 30:5, Psalm 34:18, Psalm 147:3, Psalm 126:5)
-Pray that they would truly know God as their helper and deliverer. (Psalm 30:2, Psalm 34:4)
-Pray that they would find hope in the waiting. (Psalm 33:20-22, Psalm 27:13)
-Pray that God would strengthen them as they trust Him. (Psalm 31:24, Psalm 143:8)
-Praise God that He is already there with them and in control of it all. (Psalm 28:6-7, Psalm 31:7, Psalm 116:1-9)

May the Lord bless you with His peace this season,
Shannon Purvis

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” -Ephesians 3:16-21

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