Dear First-Year Coach's Wife

These words were journaled, days after reaching a breaking point in our first year of coaching. They were the words I felt like I needed to hear from a friend sitting right beside me, over a cold cup of coffee on a toy filled couch. As I wrote, I had tear-soaked eyes and my heart felt as though it was prepared to jump out of my chest at any given moment. After a full year of pandemic living (experienced both in the United States and another country, thousands of miles away from “home”), 3 months of a hard lockdown in a foreign country (with just grocery stores open), and transitioning into a coaching life as a family with two small children, I was met with panic attacks at all hours of the night. They tended to come on suddenly and strong and as I prepared myself to face another long road trip alone with my 3 and 5 year old, I surrendered what little amount of control I felt I had to God.

I was honest with God, myself, and my husband. I talked about my insecurities and fears. I brought my hardships into the light. I wrestled long and hard, asking if I was made for this. I was counseled. I journaled. I found community in the most unlikely of places.

The journey is still ongoing and I am still thick into the healing process, but when I slow down long enough to truly take a look - in that moment of surrender, I was met with so much help & grace. In that moment of surrender, I was finally ready to receive…


Dear First-Year Coach’s Wife,

I’m right here, coming along side you & holding your hand. This year may break you, but it doesn’t mean you’re not made for this job. Fully trusting in Him and serving for Him are learned slowly over time and often, it’s never a linear experience. I don’t know if you are anything like me, but with my go-getter attitude of all the work we (or should I really say I) was to be doing this year, I exhausted myself beyond belief. I had to break to see what was truly mine to carry. It has to be in His power, not ours. It has to be in His ways, not mine. If you're feeling overwhelmed this season or feel like you've been falling short of this great calling He has lead you to, please know my friend that this year may be hard, but it doesn’t mean you’re not made for this job. He’s perfecting you each and every day. And we are always met with His promises as the sun rises each morning.

Cheering You On,

A First-Year Coach’s Wife

“Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” -Proverbs 3:6

- Elisabeth Haskins

*Elisabeth spent the first eight years of her married life as a player's wife before they transitioned into the coaching world.  Her husband now coaches professional hockey in Germany, and they have two beautiful children.

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