Fighting the Infertility Battle in Season

Somewhere along the sands of time we were made to believe that trying to have a baby is something you keep on the down-low. It’s like, if you are trying to conceive, you tell no one! Maybe it’s because we want to keep the element of surprise for family and friends? Maybe it’s because we were raised to not talk about the deed that makes the baby? But the truth is, sometimes it is just. not. that. dang. easy!

1 out of every 8 couples in the US struggle with infertility. Fighting this battle is hard. At any time. Year round. And life stops for no one. Especially during football season. But for the coach’s wife, when season approaches and you are still in the thick of the battle, sometimes it can make the heartache feel twice as painful.

It makes me cringe when I see the conversation threads about having a baby during football season. People are saying things like, “It wasn’t planned,” “This was an oops,” “We planned all our babies around his sports schedules,” and “I wasn’t allowed to have a baby during football season!” Well honey, I would give anything to have a baby in ANY season! There would be no oops or accident about it.

Not only do you not want to unload your feelings on a husband who is stressed to the max himself, but he’s also not able to talk about it much anyway. When he gets home at 10PM every night, there’s only enough time left to take a shower, scarf down dinner, repack his practice bag, and go to bed so he can have a few hours of rest before he does it all over again tomorrow. He is tired. You are tired. And everyone just needs a big hug (and maybe a vacation).

They’re not home when you take that test just to see another negative. They’re not home to hug you when the grief suddenly hits again like a ton of bricks. They’re not home when you’re googling signs, symptoms, problems, treatments. And if he’s not home to talk, well then it obviously makes it a little hard to conceive also. Your small window of time each month becomes even smaller when coach hubby has a very small window of time he’s even available. It’s just a never-ending cycle.

So what do we do? How do we cope? What helps us hang on through the hardest season? For me- it’s Jesus. Only Jesus.

“When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her, and he said, ‘Don’t cry.’” -Luke 7:13

When I long to lay all my extra emotions on my husband, I reach my arms out to my Heavenly Father, who sees me in my heartache. He is always there, always listening, and always good. I spend time in the Word. I spend time in prayer. I spend time worshiping. And yes, many of those things are accompanied by tears, but He wipes them all away- one by one as they fall down. He hears every cry of my heart. He sees every word I pray. And He finds the greatest joy in the time that I spend being STILL with Him. So in the midst of my suffering, I will continue to call out to Him.

“...he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.’“ -Matthew 26:39

“My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” -Matthew 26:42

If you remember, Jesus suffered BIG. I mean, you’ve heard about the cross, right?! In fact, He knew His suffering was coming, and even though He knew He would have to endure it all, He still asked God to take it away! We are allowed to ask for this cup of suffering to pass. We are allowed to scream from the rooftops, “God, I want a baby!!” But we also have to be willing to reflect the character of Jesus in surrendering to our Father’s plan.

“This story will go how God says it will go. And that can scare you, or that can be the most comforting thing you’ve ever heard.” -Jennie Allen

This season, the hardest parts of life, are what bring us closer than ever to God- our good, sovereign, faithful Heavenly Father. And for that, I will always be thankful. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds my tomorrow. It is well with my soul.

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of Earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”

-Shannon Purvis

1 Comment

Willie Trunk - April 13th, 2022 at 10:53am

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